10x10

This is basically just an, "I love Brendan" blog. but that's okay.
hair's so greasy-lickin' my baby's face 'till we all black out.
Out of my mind
Out of my mind
Stollen my wife
Stollen my night
Gonna take him into my life
Into my life



oh baby, baby please please.


















some day - somehow - somewhere - someone - I love you. please. baby baby. you're the one that I want.

SUNSHINE

Only dream I ever have... is the surface of the sun... everytime I shut my eyes... it's always the same.

You are a waterfall
Waiting inside a well
You are a wrecking ball
Before the building fell
And I will mutter like a lover
Who speaks in tongues, oh he speaks in tongues.
Oh I speak in tongues.

(She’s your mother; she’s got a lovely tongue.)

Cheyah.

Love love love love love Love love love love love Love love love love love Love love love love love Love love love love love Love love love love love Love love love love love Love love love love love Love love love love love Love love love love love Love love love love love Love love love love love Love love love love love Love love love love love Love love love love love Love love love love love Love love love love love Love love love love love Love love love love love Love love love love love Love love love love love Love love love love love Love love love love love Love love love love love Love love love love love Love love love love love Love love love love love Love love love love love Love love love love Love love love love Love love love love Love love love love Love love love love Love love love love Love love love love Love love love love Love love love love Love love love love
I guess.

love this movie.

"All these years, all these memories, there was you. You pull me through time."

six eggs will go and one was iron

oh baby.

star trek is my man. The next generation only.

Rants:

• The new Gossip Girls TV show looks... SO stupid! fuck! I mean... they made Dan Cute. and who the fuck makes gossip girls - the stupidest books on the face of the planet into a book.
• When Brendan tried to compare existentalism (spelling) with teenage angst. YES THERE IS A DIFFERENCE!
• Fast Food Nation, what the fuck kind of movie was that? It harldy bashed anything to do with "fast food" but rather was some kind of attempt to abort mexican imigration? please. Ashley Johnson is very fine though - so cute!
  
• Hanable rising - promised much, delivered very little. But the little twist at the end was pretty fine too. But did not appretiate the very predictable semi- insestual aunt-nephew relationship. How did they get Li Gong into that in the first place! she's too hot!

"And he's just looking for the light..."

Shut Up I Am Dreaming of Places Where Lovers Have Wings

Today Brendan came over, and everything was peachy and fine. He even got to meet Peter from work and such. But he kept insisting we leave super early for the water taxi and I was bugging him, trying to get him to stay longer, but we went up to the stairs and I punched him in the kidney, which was dumb I know, but I figured a skinny-ass like me could do no harm. So I pushed him jokingly so he couldn't really get up, but then he turns around and grabs my sweater really hard and tells me to stop. It was very violent and I was a little speachless.

Anyways, so naturally, I'm not sure how to act around him, and I can't really look at him. And he's trying to get me too etc. etc. And he's like what's wrong and I'm like why did you grab me? Anyways he started to cry and I swear it was the most heartbreaking thing ever. He kept saying that he was bad, and that is was bad. I kept trying to tell him it's okay and he kept saying it's not okay. I gave him a hug and I swear I've never felt him hold on to me that tight.

I love him, but things like that confuse me. I think certian things give him flashbacks of his dad. Like this one time I was so mad at him I slapped him and he started to cry. And this time he "hit" me and he starts to cry. I think he's both scared to death of being like his dad and having someone else treat him like his dad did.

Anyways, now I can't stop crying. Brendan is the best thing to ever happen to me.

There are snakes out in the night;
All these kids have gone astray;
There are women with no meaning to their names
When we say them… they are worse to win
For never over sinful days…

So if I ever hurt you
It will be in self-defense
And if I ever hurt you
It will be in self-defense

If you ever come at me
I will hurt you
If you ever come at me
I will hurt you
If you ever come at me,
You snake.
You snake
You snake
You snake

I wish you the best, you snake.
You are self-professed, you snake.
My heart’s in my chest, you snake.
You can have the rest, you snake.

I wish you the best, you snake.
You are self-professed, you snake.
My heart’s in my chest, you snake.
You can have the rest, you snake…

Newb

Who loves the newb kid on the block?
New job, new cell phone (soon), new... whatever!

Brendan is reading poetry to me, he has found a newfound love in william blake who has re-kindled his love in reading.

I'm listening to Sunset Rubdown and their cd.

Picture dedicated to daddy who was the only one to show me some love today. Mom was mad because I saidI'd be home later, she hung up the phone on me. I called back later, daddy picked up and he said he'd come drive me home. It was very nice.
Brendan yelled at me a few times today. The saddest was when we were having sex, I almost cried and it almost got really awkward, all because I asked him if he was "okay".

I'm really sick of self-abosrbed, self-loathing kids my age.

I already hate my work. Ryan told me about the "ruddy-gossip" being spoken about me. and well I've decided that if that continues then I'm gonna quit, or start yelling or somthing, because why should I have to put up with that bull-shit? I go to work to make money, not to go to high-school; which is exactly what this place seems to be like - gossiping, gross boys hitting on the girls, cliquey and exclusive. But not everyone's so bad. And 9$ an hour isn't so bad, either.

I love this picture of me and Brendan on new years. It was the first picture evidence that maybe he loves me. Even though I know he loves me, and somtimes I love him more than anything else in the world.

SAPPY SAPPY SAPPY SAPPY - BE HAPPY!

So you need me to say that I’m sorry
That someone undressed me as professed to me
In Spain with their eyes

Ba dum-bum ba da dum.

I’m sorry ’cause someone told me to watch
And I watched for it all over
Spain with my eyes.

Ba dum-bum ba da dum.

If I’m sorry, then so are you
Cause I, I go where you tell me to.
On horseshoes.

I saw Robbin Today! And Realised a little bit how much I may miss Doc's somtimes. But maybe I just miss him. because... truth be told I do have a little bit of a girl-crush on him. He's just what I want in a "man" kinda immature, great humour, cute, funny, good taste in music, prosperous (GOLD DIGGA), etc. etc. etc.

And as my day runs to an end, I will leave, I will leave.
One final Goodbye




...